


Blame Me, I Will Wear It

by sunkelles



Series: Iris West Dates the World [4]
Category: The Flash (2014)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Hate Sex, Post Season 3, Sexy Times, is it cheating when your fiancé is inside the speed force and might never come back?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 18:45:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11583936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkelles/pseuds/sunkelles
Summary: Iris reluctantly lets Caitlin return to Team Flash to save Jesse's life. This leads to the fight you're expecting and the sex you're also expecting if you read the tags at all.





	Blame Me, I Will Wear It

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Name comes from the song evening on the ground by iron & wine  
> 2\. This is part of my fic series Iris west dates the world until such a point where I write a snowest fic with actual dating  
> 3\. Considered naming this five four three two one watch for the flash after the lyric in the mountain goats' have to explode but I decided that would be too cheesy  
> 4\. Includes two uses of the b word. I personally hate that word, but it just kind of worked its way into this one

Jesse might be dying. At the very least, she's sick and they don't know how to make her better.

"We need a doctor," Cisco says. Iris hears the words he's not saying. He's not requesting any doctor, he's requesting Caitlin Snow.

"We don't need her," Iris says. They could find someone else, get them to figure out how to fix Jesse. Caitlin doesn't have a closed market on practicing medicine, no matter how much Cisco wants her back.

If Iris's rage weren't so bone-deep she'd almost feel bad, trying to keep Cisco away from the one best friend he might be able to get back.

"She's the only one we know who knows how speedsters work," Cisco says, "we'd have to give any other doctor a crash course in speedster biology before they could even start working. We don't know how much time she has."

"Jesus Christ, my daughter's life is on the line. Why is this up for discussion!"

"We don't know if we can trust her," Iris says. She knows that it sounds like a weak protest, but it shouldn't. Team Flash has trusted so many people they shouldn't have over the years. The idea of letting that woman back into Star Labs makes Iris feel sick.

"Can we afford not to?" Her dad asks, "Iris, what if Wally catches this?" Harry glares, despising the implication that Wally's life is somehow more valuable than Jesse's. Iris feels bad that it's what finally gets through to her, but she can't lose her baby brother now, not after their mother, not after Barry.

"Fine," Iris says, "if we're all agreed."

Harry nods. Wally nods. Her dad nods. Cisco doesn't nod, but it's not like he needs to assert his intentions after suggesting it. The whole team is in agreement.

"I'll go make some calls," Cisco says. Iris knows he's been keeping tabs on Caitlin, so finding her will be easy. Getting her here might be the hard part.

 

 

Caitlin "call me Snow" comes within the day.

She fixes Jesse.

"Thank you Snow," says Harry, the only person who doesn't need to readjust which name he uses.

"I'll just be going," Snow says, gesturing towards the door. Iris wants to tell her not to let it hit her on the way out.

"You can stay, you know," Cisco says. He doesn't just mean the night, of course. He's offering Caitlin her spot in Team Flash back. But she can't have her old spot back, because she's not the same Caitlin they knew. She goes by Snow now, but she was Killer Frost. She betrayed all of them. They can't go back to the way things used to be.

"Alright, I'll stay the night." Iris tries not to visibly flinch at that. She's been staying overnight at Star Labs more often than not. She'll spend a night with her dad here and there, but she doesn't want to move back in with him and Wally and she can't even consider staying at her own apartment with Barry still missing. Star Labs has been her safe haven, and now it's being invaded. 

The Team all leave eventually. Jesse and Harry leave first, citing a need to rest up after her ordeal. Then her father and Wally head out, and Cisco leaves last.

Iris takes out her laptop the moment that she realizes he's leaving, and settles down on the couch in the cortex.

"Will you two be alright?" Cisco asks cautiously. Iris shrugs.

"Yes," Snow assures him. Cisco grins that sunshine grin of his. She tries not to be bitter about who it's directed at. Cisco's her friend. She shouldn't be angry that he might be getting his other best friend back just because Barry's still out of reach.

She finds it hard not to be bitter, though.

"I'm glad you're back."

"It's just one night," Snow says, and she almost sounds like her old self again. Iris refuses to let her guard down.

"One night, two nights, more nights snore nights." The look Snow sends him just says "really"?

"I was trying to do red fish blue fish and it kinda fell apart." Snow giggles.

"It did. It was sweet though." Cisco decides to take this as a chance to excuse himself from making any further comments like this. 

"Night guys," Cisco says. Then he slips into the elevator and leaves the two of them alone. Snow flits about the lab, fiddling with the equipment like she never left in the first place. Iris tries to ignore her slight rage at that, Snow melting back into this life like nothing has changed at all.

Iris tries to ignore a lot of things, especially how awkward it is for them to be alone together. Being alone and not speaking is awkward. It always is, even when there isn't a chasm a mile deep between the two people.

When sitting in awkward silence with a woman who recently joined forces with the man trying to murder you, the awkward feels less like a soft fan buzzing in the background and more like loud heavy metal music blaring from your neighbor's apartment at 3 in the morning.

Iris is determined to ignore it. Snow, apparently, is not.

"Are you going to ignore me all night?" Iris doesn't look up from her laptop. She doesn't even acknowledge that she hears her speak. Cisco was the one that wanted to give her another chance. If Iris had her way, Snow wouldn't be within a mile of Star Labs.

"Figures," she says, with a bitter little laugh, "what should I expect from Iris West." Iris has no idea what that's supposed to mean, but she doesn't rise to the bait. She keeps looking at her laptop screen.

Calmly, coldly, she says, "You helped try to kill me. Letting you stay here is more than you deserve."

"Thank you, benevolent leader. I'm so grateful you showed me basic human courtesy for saving Jesse's life."

"You haven't changed at all. You're still Killer Frost." It annoys her the way Cisco talks about it, like Caitlin Snow and Killer Frost are two different people, Killer Frost just the demon that occasionally possesses her.

Caitlin turned into this, or perhaps she had always been this way.

Had Caitlin always been this rotten inside and none of them saw it? None of them but Zoom, at least. They should have been more cautious, more aware. Serial killers don't fall in love with the inherent goodness in people.

"What do you want me to tell you, Iris? Murder is bad. Gee, sure sorry for forgetting that? Promise I won't help any more super villains try to kill you?"

Iris doesn't know what she wants from this woman. She just wants her fiancé back.

"Yes. That would be a start."

Snow's look softens, and she looks slightly less like a cartoon villain.

"Look, I'm sorry," Snow says, and she almost doesn't sound like a stone cold bitch about it, "I fucked up, but I didn't send Barry away. Barry did that all on his own, thank you very much. You can't blame me for that."

"I just want him back," Iris says. There's this gaping hole in her heart and her home where Barry's supposed to be. She just wants him back, damn the consequences.

She would trade Snow for Barry in a heartbeat.

Iris doesn't need to stay pure. She's not a meta, not a symbol. She has Savitar's blood on her hands and more than enough desperation to bloody them again.

Snow smiles her icy smile.

"You know what I want, Iris? I want my husband back. I want my reputation back. And my friends, and my job, and my life.

Yours is perfectly intact, well, if you subtract the unfortunate fiancé. You have the world's best father. A brother who admires you. A thriving career, and you had the Flash mooning over you for his entire life. The world bends over backwards for you and your happy ending. The world's bent over backwards to make my life miserable."

This sounds like Leonard Snart, claiming his rough childhood made him a criminal. Iris refuses to feel bad for her. Iris stands up and marches toward the desk, full of righteous fury. 

"No, this is your own fault, all of it,"

Snow's eyes light up that icy shade of blue, and she takes a step forward. Iris steps back, running into the desk.

"You know, I could break that murder is bad clause right here and now. Give those pretty lips a kiss and freeze you from the inside out."

Iris shifts uncomfortably, and crosses her legs as she stands against the desk. She feels some slight relief at the sensation and tries to will away her embarrassed arousal.

Somehow this became angry flirting, visceral flirting, with toxic words and her life quite possibly on the line.

This is more alive than she's felt in months.

"Cisco would give up on you, then. For good." Snow stiffens at that.

"Don't drag him into this." Iris decides to back off of that topic. She thinks that particular threat might make her go full Frost again. Iris doesn't want to see her go full Frost again.

Iris just wants to see enough to make her eyes glow blue, her fingertips turn to ice.

"There aren't any Flashes around to protect you," Snow says, sauntering up to her, "Who's gonna stop me from freezing you from the inside out?" Her hands are smoking, like dry ice.

"Certainly not The Flash," she drawls, grinning her villain grin.

"Shut up," Iris growls. She grabs Snow by the shoulders, and digs her nails in so hard it must hurt.

"Make me." Iris feels angry and aroused, and embarrassed because of it.

Iris hates to admit it, but Snow is hot, always has been. Back when they met, if Iris was single, she might have tried to gauge whether or not Caitlin was straight, see if something could happen between the two of them.

This is not how she'd envisioned it the few times she let that fantasy play out.

Iris kisses her hard on the mouth, wrapping her arms around the woman's shoulders. She holds her like a lifeline, and feels Snow run her hands down her back. They catch at the front of her pants and drag them down to her ankles. Iris kicks them off, and she sits backward onto the desk. She pulls Snow back with her, the other woman falling onto her lap. She's kissing her hard, and she juts her hips forward, hoping to find some friction with Snow.

"Thirsty little bitch," Snow teases. Iris digs her nails into Snow's back in retaliation, and the other woman moans in pleasure. Snow runs her cold fingers down Iris's hips, over the soft skin of her inner thighs, and into the wet heat of her folds.

Snow's thumb is stroking her clit, and Iris can feel her two fingers moving inside her. Iris juts her hips against her cold fingers, not even minding the temperature.

Snow's hands might be cold, but they're soft and smooth and moving against her in all the ways that her body loves.

She's doing it all right, the way that only another woman ever does on the first try.

Iris moans into her mouth, and Snow laughs. It's not Killer Frost's laugh though. Not cold and cruel, but soft and warm like the laugh that Cisco got earlier today.

Somehow, it's sexier than the evil laugh could be. Iris fucks Snow's fingers again, hitting exactly that perfect spot. Then the woman crooks it. That sends Iris over the edge, and Snow laughs as she climaxes.

"Fuck you," Iris says in the afterglow.

"Thought that was your job," Snow teases.

Iris kisses her again, and they start the cycle again.

Iris wakes up on the couch the next morning. She vaguely expects to feel another body as she moves, but she doesn't.

Snow already left. She promised Cisco one night, nothing more and nothing less. Snow is already gone, and Iris doesn't know if that makes this easier or harder.

She feels dirty and embarrassed and oh so wrong, but it's something. It's something other than this nothing she's felt for months.

She can't believe fucking Frost is what finally made her feel alive.


End file.
